Stupid, vapid, shallow, boring hipsters with their safe trendy lying to themselves if they think they're avant-garde vintage clothing. I have no interest in talentless people whose only skills are wearing clothes & shop in thrift stores.
WHO CARES?!
I personally don't give a rat's ass about your lame congregations that you call a "party". Believe me, I know. I've been to some of 'em. Just a bunch of insecure people who don't know themselves having a miserable time pretending they're having the time of their lives. A collage of fake smiles, insincere laughter & severe lack of genuine love in the room. All the boys are competing for the title of alpha male & the hottest girl in the room. All the girls are competing for the title of scene queen & the dirtiest, longest hair, smelliest, grungiest, mediocrely talented artist or musician in the room, preferably with a full-grown mustache or beard. Peer pressured weaklings smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, dropping pills, snorting coke, toking weed-- when really they don't want to be. Lame-o's engaged in boring, superficial dialogue, too cowardly to ever even begin scratching at one another's surfaces. BORING!
So they just go on yapping mundanities sitting sprawled along the concrete sidewalk outside of their music venues like a bunch of mistreated orphans when many actually come from well-to-do families. Sitting on squalid apartment steps & street curbs. Standing by the wall like pathetic wallflowers, as they try in vain to save face by declaring that they're "too cool" for the party or declare that the "party is lame". NEWSFLASH: You're the LAME ONE! Wallflowers, don't hate. Participate. How the hell do you expect to land that dream girl or dream guy of yours if you don't talk to them? How are you going to improve your social network if you don't be SOCIAL?! YOU LOSE. I WIN! --Street Fighter Announcer Voice Exclaims: *PERFECT!!*
Nearly everyone keeps their true personalities, hobbies & genuine interests hidden for fear of being ostracized & deemed "NOT COOL ENOUGH". Many hipsters have a fear of god forbid, revealing even one of their guilty pleasures-- for example, they might *ACTUALLY* like Taylor Swift or enjoy reading Twilight. Whatever the case may be, BE YOURSELF. Have a stronger will cos the weak-willed make my skin cringe.
Why in god's name would anyone ever strive to be a hipster? Why in god's name would anyone even dream of seeking validation from this cluster of fools? These concepts just riddle my mind! Hipsters are the prime example of FOLLOWERS. The precise antithesis to lone wolves, hipsters are a FLOCK OF WILLINGLY SUBORDINATED SHEEP.
Gathering at their "parties" and posing for pictures with their stupid faces and mimicking model poses that they've seen in the magazines, most likely "VICE" or internet street mag, "STREET BONERS". Wasting their time & lives when their hours could be better spent making something of themselves.
DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE.
CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY!
CREATE/MAKE/BAKE/SOLVE/DESIGN/ETC. SOMETHING!
Something! Anything! Instead of just being hidden & wasting away. Cos I personally don't plan on wasting away forever. I plan to shine one day. I'm just biding my time & working hard on my writing samples so that I can put together a writing portfolio. The Bronx Tale movie said that there's nothing worst in this world than wasted talent. Well... I say there *IS* something worst than that. And it's HIDDEN TALENT. Talent not exposed and shared to the world is equivalent to wasted talent, anyway.
DON'T YOU HAVE DREAMS OF YOUR OWN?
Why not take much needed time off from your lame, meaningless hipster escapades & *ACTUALLY* learn how to play the instrument you've always wanted to know. Why don't you take up painting, sculpting or learn how to fix
your own car since mechanics are expensive as hell!
GET A HOBBY! FIND YOUR PASSION & STICK WITH IT!
EVERYTHING BEGINS WITH COURAGE, BUT MUST BE SUSTAINED WITH DEDICATED SELF-MOTIVATION.
It's annoying how true it is that while some things may change, others will always stay the same. Stop clinging to your high school mentality & old college habits. Every level of life has a rule. And being an adult means having a JOB. Go get one if you don't have one you lazy, bumbling fool(s)!
Also, smoking cigarettes was never meant to be a fashion statement. If you smoke cigarettes because you genuinely enjoy it, cool. I know what that's like because I used to be a smoker myself, too. However, if you're a social smoker that has a cigarette at parties or just in public in general, you're a weak, insecure idiot that needs to focus on your individual self-esteem issues. Also, don't turn to your friends for help--you'll just be a boring, annoying burden. Trust me. No one cares about your dull personal life & pathetic autobiography. Deal with your angst on your own. Practice being a self-reliant independent loner.
Also, I've noticed that a lot of hipster girls are in good shape. Whether they are naturally blessed to be that way or whether they actually make the effort to eat right & exercise is unknown to me. However, a fact that is not a mystery to me is the fact that a lot of hipster guys have beer guts, even if it's just slight beer guts and no muscle tone. Tall, lanky & weak. The tall, lanky & weak is cool to me, though. Cos it's mad Spike Spiegel from Cowboy BeBop, this Japanese anime that is the pinnacle of bad ass. However-- the beer guts, slight or not, is completely unacceptable. We're all old & smart enough to know what the opposite sex or same sex (if that's your flavor) is attracted to. Cease your wallowing & begin your efforts to a new, better, improved, stronger you! In RPG videogame speak-- LEVEL UP! GAIN EXPERIENCE POINTS! Or in comic book speak-- ATTAIN YOUR *TRUE* FORM!
We're young. There is absolutely no point in being in the best shape of your life when you're 30. It's pointless. If you're a teenager or an out-of-shape 20-something, eat healthy, exercise & get your act together. Cos you're better off looking your sexiest when you've still got your youthful glow & none of the old people wrinkles in your face that everyone will inevitably encounter in their 30s.
MORAL:
STOP SMOKING CIGARETTES (UNLESS YOU GENUINELY DO ENJOY IT-- I JUST HOPE THAT SOMEDAY YOU'LL OUTGROW THE HABIT. BECAUSE YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT. IF I DID IT, THEN SO CAN YOU!) EAT RIGHT. EXERCISE. BE PRETTY. GET SEXY. GET HANDSOME. BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE. WHOEVER YOU ARE.
*BONUS FEATURE!*
ESTABLISHED, LONG-REIGNING SCENE QUEEN CORY KENNEDY MODELING THE MOST POPULAR, FAVORITE, QUINTESSENTIAL HIPSTER POSES.
Below: Sitting along some squalid sidewalk.
Below: Sitting along some squalid sidewalk, yet again!
